ABIGAIL

Her Father's Joy!

The clouds above the city of Glasgow is wailing.

Loud and Heavy.

Abigail has never experienced this kind of downpour in her few years of living here. That’s why she is clad in a light, water resistant jacket, and not the waterproof one. Meaning she is drenched from head to toe.

The weather forecast, as accurately as it could, predicted the downpour, but she just assumed it would be the heavy showers the gloomy city is known for. Or at most, really heavy showers.

Definitely not a proper rainfall that drowns out every sound and beats down on everything, and everyone stupid enough to be caught in it. I.e. her.

She definitely did not expect thunder, lightning and to actually feel the beating of the rain. Every part of her, even certain private parts, a victim to the assault of this ‘rainfall’ tonight. And on a day she decided she would walk the remaining distance from the train station to her apartment building and not request for an uber, nonetheless.

Why’d she do that? Well, because she had made plans earlier in the day to stop at the Aldi store closest to her place.

“I just need a few things.” she said to herself as she got off the train.

Unfortunately for her, it wasn’t the best idea. Wrong day. Wrong timing too. And now it’s too late to call an Uber. It just won’t make sense.

She had started the journey before the rain intensified and had covered enough distance that calling an uber would be futile and not cost efficient. Also, the streets are empty. No car, no human in sight. Just Abigail, trudging carefully home, looking like a drenched cat!

Soaked from head to toe, water trickling down parts that they shouldn’t have access to, her entire physical being feels heavy. Plus the grocery bags in her hands and her soaked handbag.

Thankfully she decided to leave her PC at work today. But the heaviness she feels physically is all but an addition to the other heaviness she feels, and has felt for the longest time.

Her heart. Her mind. Her entire being, spirit and soul, plus her body now, feels like it’s carrying the weight of the heavens. An old weight she has carried for far too long, that had initially started as something small. It was first a fog, a cloud hovering around her mind, then it began to grow.

It became a bigger cloud, thicker, heavier, and then it evolved into something else entirely. It completely envelopes not just her mind but her heart too. It became an anchor-like-weight on her heart. And the weight of an elephant on her head.

Now she understands when people say they feel like they are carrying the weight of the world and it sounds like an exaggeration. She doesn’t think it has evolved to that degree but it very much feels like it, a human being, and she is a small woman, weighing what? 50 plus kg, carrying an elephant on her head?

That definitely feels like she’s carrying the weight of the world.

That’s why she hangs her head low as she walks. Partly to shield from the assault of the rain, but also because of the weight she carries.

She takes measured steps towards her apartment building, intentionally going like a snail to avoid a repeat of a falling incident that happened a couple blocks back. She tries not to think too much also as that makes things worse. So she focuses on light thoughts.

Like counting down to reaching home, a hot shower, hot cocoa with marshmallows, her comfort series and how she doesn’t have a job anymore so she can’t be bothered about waking up early tomorrow either!

She tries not to remember the events that led to her termination, she doesn’t even allow herself replay the day, something she usually does on automatic. Right now, she just focuses on getting home. She just needs to get home. Then a thought passes through her mind and she halts briefly in her steps before continuing on.

Unfortunately, thoughts of her termination reminds her of something else. What it signifies.

She would have to move……again.

The anchor on her heart increases in tonne, the elephant on her head gets fatter. Her several layers, the grocery bag and her handbag feel heavier.

It had happened again. No matter where she went. No matter how many times she upended her life to start again in another city. To try again. It didn’t matter. No matter how far she travelled she was still somehow tethered to that place, that misfortune.

The cycle continues. Even with her temporary happiness at not resuming work early tomorrow morning. A chance to rest in. Even recover from whatever being in this rain brings, she knows she needs to face the reality of what comes next. Again.

It’s nothing new though. This cycle. The unfortunate events that have caused her to call too many places ‘home’ in the past nine years, almost a decade now. And it had come just as it always did in the past, unmissable, a signal. A prompt.

It’s time for her to move. Again. Another fresh start. A new location. She would need to leave Glasgow, and that thought weighed heavier because she has grown to love this city and its people.

Hopefully the next one would be it. Final. The one that would finally bring the peace she has been looking for. Give her a sense of security, something similar to what she had growing up. A place she could finally settle down properly and progress. A place that could finally take off the weight, cut off the tether, and escape the misfortunes that have followed her in every move.

Ever since….

Abigail stops abruptly, shutting her eyes, using what little strength she has left to shove the memories all the way to the back of her mind, locking the chest they escaped from. Once she feels confident they won’t break free, she opens her eyes and lets out a shaky breath. She blinks away the rain trickling down her face and just stands still for a bit.

For a brief moment, the other weights are forgotten as she tries to look herself over, making some adjustments to the grocery bags in her hands, readjusting the handbag on her left shoulder.

Ignoring the bruises on her body from the fall, she charges on, determined to make it home before 11pm.

The time reads 10:50pm now.

She tries to shake her head a bit in a bid to try to adjust the weight of the elephant on her head but stops immediately she starts to have starry vision. Chuckling to herself, she waits for wooziness to pass and carries on walking.

At least she is making progress. A couple more streets to pass and she’s home! She allows a smile ghost her lips when she sees she’s closer, too close to that hot chocolate with marshmallows. Determination spurring her on.

Unbeknownst to Abigail, the streets aren’t completely empty. And they haven’t been completely empty all the while. So, as she draws closer to home, thinking herself alone, her shadow; not even a clear companion, Abigail is indeed not alone. Someone else walks with her, not too far behind, large and looming, but a safe aura around Him.

He usually doesn’t show Himself like this even though He has always been and is always with her, but He isn’t her only unknown companion tonight and just like a long time ago, He shows Himself.

Someone else trudges, also drenched completely, behind her, taking calculated steps towards her but still maintaining enough distance to not spook her. The heavy downpour creating the perfect mask for his presence, a dangerous glint in his eyes.

His victim this night…….Abigail.

Avoiding thoughts on the cycle, Abigail tries to romanticize where she would move to next. It’s better to see it as her next travel destination than a cycle that has always been. She has always wanted to got to Asia and she has been taking her Mandarin seriously so maybe it’s time. Singapore? Japan?

Maybe even South Korea, the Lord knows she wants to visit. But she doesn’t want to go there as a result of this cycle in her life and then have to move, damaging her idea of the place, she wants it to be a vacation spot instead. She allows the thoughts carry her for a bit.

Eventually she is back to thinking about her reasons for leaving and the sadness returns, the weight tangible again. But a part of her still holds on loosely to a hope that this time would be different.

Hope.

Something she had never let go of. She had stopped praying a long time ago, but she still hoped. She couldn’t bring herself to talk to Him again but she still hoped for better.

Things would change. She would get better.

This too shall pass.

She really hoped.

The weight presses heavier, nearly crushing.

However, Abigail still believes. No matter how far she has gone from Him, she still believes. She just stopped holding on, but she knows, who He is and where He is, just doesn’t feel Him as closely anymore. And that hope, helped push her to try over and over again. Pushed her to start from scratch, believing that every time would be different. Better.

But even that hope had begun to dwindle, which is why right now, her hold slips. She feels herself start to let go. She can’t seem to hold on anymore, and so her light thoughts morph into what it usually is, heavy. Everything she carries physically, making it even harder to hold on.

She starts to feel like she is at the end of herself.

The events of the day come back to her, tears trickling down her face.

Back to status quo, she fights to at least make it home, not wanting to break down on the streets of Scotland.

She’s closer to her marshmallow but her pace slows.

A lot happened today.

And she can finally admit that whatever this misfortune that follows her is, she cannot run away from it or overcome it, not on her own. She has tried every logical thing possible but she just cannot distance herself from it enough. She cannot cut off the tether.

She makes the last turn, apartment building in sight.

But the tears don’t stop.

The weight grows heavier with each step.

She has to move again. But she doesn’t want to. Not anymore. Abigail is exhausted. She is so tired of running away, and of trying to fix this, whatever this even is because she has tried to figure it out but she just cannot.

What else can she do? What other cards can she play? She has played them all. And so, as she struggles to look ahead of her, sighting her building, it’s a bit blurry from all the tears, but she sees it, Abigail finally decides to just let go.

What exactly is she letting go of? She doesn’t actually know. She cannot put words to it, but she knows she has to let it go. She has to stop holding on. She has to surrender it all.

How? To what? Whom?

Still not caring to pay enough attention to her surroundings, confident she is the only one stupid enough to walk in this downpour, she doesn’t notice the dangerous man taking the turn with her. He had marked her as his target when she stepped out of the Aldi store. It had been spontaneous, against his normal routine, but he was determined.

He starts to close the gap, an evil grin appearing on his face. He spots the perfect place to attack and everything looks perfect. The perfect time, the rain acting as a perfect cover, and she still had not noticed him. He is excited about this mark. He is. He starts to advance.

Abigail’s steps slow even as she gets closer to her place. She starts to sob full on. Then she hears it. A voice she hasn’t heard in over a decade now.

“Give it to me Abigail. I can carry it. Give it all to me.”

She stops in her tracks immediately. For the first time in a long time its like light pierces through, finally reaching her through all of the fog and weight that surrounds her. She drops the groceries on the floor of the street, her handbag slipping off her shoulder, joining them on the floor. She is crying with the sky now, heaven and her equally wailing out.

“Let it go Abigail.” His voice pierces through again.

After all this while, it’s still as clear as it always has been, and she remembers. And it feels like it never even left. And just like that, as if on automatic, she sees herself take them off. She sees herself in her head, carrying multiple bags. Multiple weights. And she stands in front of Him. She recognizes Him. He looks the same. And just like before, He is smiling down at her.

One by one she starts to hand all the bags to Him. With every bag she hands to him, there’s relief in her heart, in her mind, even in her body. In reality, Abigail starts to lift her hands to the sky, and then her face, allowing the rain to wash away her tears.

Steven halts in his advancement briefly, shocked at the woman’s posture. He catches himself though and finally closes the distance, not allowing himself to be deterred. As he launches himself at her, he hears her speak.

“Help me Lord. I am tired of doing it all on my own. Please, take it all. Give me you.” Abigail says out loud, head, eyes, hands and heart raised towards the sky.

As the last word leaves her mouth, Abigail sees something charge at her from behind. She doesn’t even have time to scream, or move out of the way, so she shuts her eyes, waiting for impact. One second. Then two. Three. Four. Five. At the sixth count, Abigail’s eyes fly open and she turns and stops in her tracks.

Someone else stands before her, shielding her from the attack.

Her eyes widen in shock. He is just as she remembers Him. Massive. Tall. Shielding. And that’s what He is doing as He looks down at the man who just tried to attack her. The man has been thrown a good distance from her and is holding on to his head. It’s bleeding but it doesn’t look serious.

Even in the rain, she can tell from second nature that he won’t need serious medical help. The man looks at Him utterly frightened. He is shaking from head to toe, and can’t seem to move from his position on the ground.

“Go home Steven. And stay there. I’ll be with you shortly.” Abigail’s Angel says.

Then completely ignoring the man on the ground, Abigail’s Angel picks up her grocery bags and her handbag, all in one hand, and then takes her second hand in His.

He starts to lead her home.

Glancing back for a bit, she commits the man on the ground to memory, then looks away.

Then she glances up at her Angel, still in shock. Looking down at their hands, hers hidden in His large ones, she notices the warmth that seeps into her very being, chasing away the cold. A small smile spreads on her lips as a lone tear drops.

“It’s just like before.” She thinks to herself.

Looking ahead, she allows Him walk her to her door, and she cannot help but feel He is doing more than walking her to her earthly house.

It slowly dawns on her that He is walking her back to her actual home. Back into God’s Arms. Back to Her Father’s House.

La Fin

For Now

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Thoughtsss!!!! Let me know what you think of the first in a short story series in the comments below.

How did it make you feel? Did I try or no?