Let's Get To Know Olatunji Ruth...

Who Am I?

I wondered what my next post would be. (Not me getting distracted by my own thoughts as I read 😂😂) I asked God and He said don’t worry about that. As I sit in this café right now, because I am writing live (here, this word is pronounced as being online, live, like IG-live, and not live as in living, and I want to write in a way that shares my experience with people), I put on my Christian instrumentals playlist, and I get stuck on this particular song (You Are Holy (Prince of Peace)), and I immediately look for the original song and listen to it for about five times, at least, and it just leads me into this connection with God and sets my mind and train of thoughts on a particular journey.

On creating this Substack, asking God what I would be sharing, and He said everything. He said I would need to bare my heart and soul to people, and let them in. Not to invade, or have opinions, but to be able to connect, relate and learn if needed.

I currently was led to put something about secret places on my Instagram story. Yeahhh, if you’re interested, it’s a post on the 29th of October, 2024. He said talk about secret places. Share what we have found. And the post before this is so aligned and timely because my secret place came from my love and passion for music, and movies actually, but since we are still on the topic of music,….we (my spirit, soul and mind) haven’t been instructed to talk about movies just yet 😂😂😂.

What a chaotic way to start a newsletter, I am so sorry about that 😂😂😂.

Let’s get into it shall we?

Words….

It’s always been words for me.

Music. Books. Movies. Words from people.

Words everywhere. Limitless sources.

And He made me like Him in that sense too. Being the greatest author of all time.

And so He found me in the books I read, the music I listened to, the lyrics, the movies I watched, the messages. The words in His prophetic book interpreted in ways I could understand as I grew.

My secret place became conversations I would have with myself when I am all alone, reading a book, listening to music. I gave my life to Him at a very young age, and I did not know the depth of what I had done at the time because I had not matured in so many ways to completely understand what it meant. But, He understood on my behalf. He knows all things and He knew back then, that little me really needed Him to interrupt and begin planting seeds, seeds that have germinated into this beautiful relationship we have.

He’s the only one I told when I didn’t feel pretty. He is the only one who saw me when I cried over everything in my life I felt was wrong and unworthy and made me imperfect.

Let me paint a picture…

I would listen to songs, sometimes cry, ask questions from the lyrics either in my heart or mind or out loud when nobody was there, I would come back from school and talk about my day in the toilet, because I was not comfortable using the toilet in school, so I would hold my pee or number 2 until I got home, and for some reason, I always talked about my day there, where nobody was. Time and time again, my family would pass and knock and ask me who I was talking to. I would say no one, because in physical reality I was actually talking to no one, but in actual reality I wasn’t. He was always there. Always.

He would listen in. Hear about the good, the bad, the ugly, the funny, the things I liked and didn’t like, I would cry and He would be the only witness to that.

Someone would call that creepy and intrusive. But what do we really know? What is truly creepy and intrusive and who decides that?

Now, for me though, I look back and see love. I see a God who saw me when no one else did. I see a God who became my best friend. My safe space. My mum. My dad. My sibling. My lover. My everything, especially when society and people failed to be perfect in these positions.

He would interrupt my songs with questions, some questions, some Christians would call controversial, wrong even, not questions to bring before a ‘HOLY’ God. But He was not offended. He was not threatened by them. He was not hostile towards me but even more welcoming. Why? Because it showed a daughter that truly wanted to know about Him. To be sure of Him. To be confident in the God she was told to serve by everyone around her.

He entertained me and my questions, my thoughts, my feelings, my confusions. He allowed me to fully express. To be completely bared to Him and not feel ashamed. Why? Because then He could teach me, show me, explain, and help me understand.

Why did you create relationships and consequently marriage for man and woman and them alone? Why not any other way? Why do I feel the way I do, and it feels good but it is wrong?

A God who truly understands. A God who cares more about you truly knowing the TRUTH, and wanting you to truly see the TRUTH about this life we live, because He made things a certain way does not mean we cannot find out why. Why did He then create choice? Why did He then give us freewill? A chance to know the TRUTH and decide to go with Him willingly.

Secret Place…

“…seek me and ye shall find.” Who are you Lord? Why You?

“Ask and it shall be given….”, not in the selfish way we are used to, but a true knowing. A deeper understanding. A true knowledge. Show me who you are Lord. I don’t believe, help me believe. Remove the veil from my eyes, help me see.

“….knock and the door shall be open to you” I am not easily triggered and too sensitive that you cannot come to me with anything and everything. I AM THAT I AM. I AM GOD. I MADE ALL THINGS. “All things were made by Him; and without Him was not any thing made that was made” - John 1:3. Come to me, the door is open, if you really want to, knock, and I can promise you the door would open up to you. The door to me.

So many factors, and my environment definitely had a lot of impact in my relationship with Him, but even without them, He orchestrated my life the way it went because my story is unique to me. Even without said factors and that environment, He is God and if anyone truly seeks Him without these factors, they shall find Him.

Everyone can have, and should have a secret place with God. It is our responsibility if we desire to, to seek that out. And just like He did for me, sometimes He does help us find it, He interrupts and leads us to where this secret place with Him is.

We as Christians, are tasked with the responsibility of communicating this love we have freely received from Him to the world. But, there is one thing my life has taught me, God does not need us to reach people. We call Him the Creator of all things, the One who sees all, the One who is Supreme over everything on this earth, and underneath the earth. God knows every single being on the earth He created, and He has designed each and every individual life in such unique ways for a reason. The devil does exist and works hard to influence His perfection, but even he is not capable enough to prevent the light that is The God of the universe from interrupting the dark places we, his children, find ourselves in.

God sees you. Right now as you read this.

He sees you.

He knows you.

He loves you.

This is my testimony. This is my unique story.